A Not So Sirius Mistake
by BrunetteWeasley13
Summary: After a drunken night, Sirius wakes up next to Lily Evans. But things aren't always what they seem... hilarity ensues.


Author's Note: The normal disclaimer applies. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I love the marauders! This is my first crack at humor so be nice. Reviews are very much appreciated.

A Not So Sirius Mistake

Early Sunday morning light shown through the dormitory window and straight into Sirius Black's face. He grumbled something inaudibly and mashed his face into the pillow. He should not have drank so much last night. Damn James and his drinking games. Whenever the marauders played drinking games whoever lost always felt like shit in the morning. Sirius tried to stay still, so the pounding in his head that he knew was about to start might stay at bay for a few more moments. He waited then moved his head experimentally. Wow. It was not as bad as he expected. The pain was already subsiding. Then he heard a soft sigh and felt the bed move next to him. Hmm well he must have had some fun last night but right now he just wanted to be alone so he could sleep in. He moved his head in the mystery girl's direction and opened one eye. The first thing he saw was a mass of red hair. Beneath the hair was the tiny freckled and familiar face of Lily Evans.

Oh shit.

Sirius leapt out of bed possible hangover forgotten in his panic.

Oh shit. Shit. Shit.

Sirius looked around and realized he was in the girls' dorm.

Oh shit. Of course it could have been worse. He could have been in his dorm, his bed, right next to James.

With one last frantic look around, he dashed out the door and fled down the stairs. What the hell? He thought. Oh my God! How did this happen!? Lily is James's girlfriend. Even Sirius Black has limits and fucking his best friend's girl was definitely far past his limits. What the hell had happened? The night was a little fuzzy. OK… he remembered drinking with James and Peter. Remus wasn't there because he was sleeping off the last full moon in the infirmary. Then he remembered James and Lily arguing about something. But he couldn't remember it being heated at all. Shit. Their fight must have escalated then Lily must have played the drill the best friend card. Then they must have went to her room and … oh Merlin. Deep in thought, Sirius almost crashed into someone as he entered the common room. It was James. He was carrying his broomstick. He had already been up and had to have noticed that Sirius was not in his own bed.

"Hey, Padfoot! I didn't think I'd see you until this evening," laughed James.

"Oh ha ha yeah…" Sirius answered lamely his eyes darting back and forth nervously and his hands moving up to his hair. James gave him a strange look then continued.

"Well I was just looking for Lily to see if she wants to get some breakfast. Do you want to join us?"

"No, no. Better not. Ha ha Besides Lily's still asleep..uh… I mean I guess she is… it's early… but hell how would I know if Lily's up right? Right? Ha ha…" With one last glance at James's puzzled face, Sirius shot off to the portrait hole. He had to get out of there.

James looked after Sirius then shrugged to himself and continued up the stairs. When he reached Lily's dorm she was sitting up in bed brushing her long hair out of her face. She smiled at James.

"Good morning."

"Morning. Do you know what the hell has gotten into Sirius?"

Lily shook her head no.

"Hmm maybe he's still a little messed up from last night. Do you want to go get some breakfast, love?"

Lily smiled as James bent down to kiss her.

"Sure thing let me changed into some jeans first."

………

Sirius wandered around the castle frantically trying to figure out what to do. As he moved aimlessly down a corridor, he saw Remus. Remus would know what to do. He is so level headed. Thank Merlin for Remus.

"Remus, Remus!" Sirius ran down that hall. "Hey Moony. I really, really need to talk to you."

"Sirius, I'm still kinda woozy. Is there anyway this can wait?" Remus asked while rubbing his tired eyes.

"No, no it can't. I've done something really bad."

"Really bad?" Remus questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Unforgivable."

Remus almost laughed at his grave face, but he held it together. He motioned to an empty classroom. "Come in here and tell me." They moved into the classroom and as soon as the latch clicked closed Sirius unloaded.

"I had sex with Lily."

Remus gaped at Sirius stunned.

"What?" When Remus didn't continue, Sirius did.

"I don't even know how it happened!" Sirius cried in anguish.

"You don't even know how it happened?" Remus asked sounding skeptical.

"No! That's part of the problem. I can't remember anything! The last thing I really remember is James and Lily talking, sort of arguing about something."

"Well, if you don't remember, how do you know it happened?"

"I woke up in her bed with Lily right next to me."

Remus blew out a breath and held up his hands. "Ok so what are you going to go now?"

"I don't know. Mooney, what am I going to do?"

"Does James know?"

"Unless Lily told him, then no. I don't think so."

"Why don't you just cool down a bit. Then you can find Lily and talk to her, and you both can decide what to do."

"Yeah, that sounds reasonable."

"Good now that's settled. I'm going to bed. I need some sleep, badly. When I get up, hopefully we can work this out."

"Thanks, Remus. What would I do without you?'

"Be in a whole hell of a lot more trouble that's what."

……….

Sirius strolled out of the classroom feeling better already. He walked to the Great Hall for breakfast but soon realized his mistake.

"Sirius!" James was waving him over to their usual spot at Gryffindor table. Lily was sitting next to him smiling up at Sirius. It was unnerving how calm she looked. She was a great actress considering she had just spent the night with her boyfriend's best friend. Damn, there was no way to escape. Sirius smiled like a lunatic, but he thought he looked like the epitome of casual. He moved to the table walking very normally. Or so he thought. From the way people were turning their heads to stare he must have failed miserably.

"Are you ok, mate? James asked concerned.

"Yeah, Sirius, you seem a little off." Lily added with a slight frown.

"Oh I'm great! Just peachy!" Sirius chimed in an uncharacteristically high voice.

James and Lily just stared. James shook his head and smiled at Lily. "Well you have my Lily to thank for that. She took great care of you last night. She's such a passionate person."

Sirius dropped the fork he had been playing with. He stared horror struck at the pair. "What!?" he screeched when he found his voice. "You know about last night?"

"Umm yeah. Of course. I was the one who told her to." James answered obviously puzzled. Sirius just stared. After a few beats, he ran from the Great Hall without another word.

James turned to Lily. "That was ridiculous. What did he drink last night? I though it was just fire whiskey? It shouldn't be affecting him this badly."

Lily looked thoughtful. "I'll go talk to him. If there's still something wrong, maybe I can fix him something for nerves."

"Good idea. You are amazing at potions."

"I know." Lily teased leaning into James.

………

Lily found Sirius easily. He had ducked into a nearby classroom to think. Sirius paced back and forth thinking frantically. James told Lily to sleep with him? James is a laid back kind of guy but not when it came to Lily. Sirius actually expected him to kill him… slowly and painfully. Of course Sirius didn't prefer that, but still this was too weird. And Lily? She was so nonchalant about it. It took Lily years to go out with James and then months and months for her to sleep with him. He couldn't see Lily agreeing to anything so crude.

"Sirius?"

Sirius jumped out of his skin. "Fuck! Lily, you scared me!!"

"Sorry. Are you ok? You seemed weird at breakfast. I thought that after what I did last night you would be feeling great."

"After what you did last night?!" Sirius cast her an accusing glare. "I'm freaking out about it. How could you expect me to be great?"

Lily cast he eyes to the floor and crinkled her brow in thought. "Hmm paranoia isn't usually a common side effect. I guess I mixed the Hangover Stopper potion wrong. Or maybe it was the Whiskey Absorber?"

"P-potion?" Sirius stuttered bewildered.

"Yeah. I mix them for James all the time. Sometimes there are side effects but nothing like this. And usually they turn up in the first few hours of taking it. I let you stay in my room so I could observe you." Lily twisted a piece of hair thinking. "I didn't see anything weird last night. You just went to sleep actually. You were so asleep that James and I couldn't even get you out of my bed. Usually deep sleep is a good sign." Lily continued to ramble on trying to sort out her mistake. When suddenly Sirius rushed forward and pulled her into a crushing hug.

"A hangover potion? A hangover potion!" Sirius shouted. Lily looked up at him in surprise. "Whew what a relief. OH, I love you, Lily… but not in that way of course." Sirius laughed as he let her out of his massive hug.

Lily returned the laugh. "I love you, too, Sirius. But what do you mean 'a relief?' What did you think had happened?"

"Wait.." sudden understanding flashed across Lily's emerald eyes. "you thought… that we…?" Lily stammered while motioning back and forth between the two of them.

"Oh… no… God, no." Sirius attempted.

"Oh my God! Yes, you did! You thought we slept together!" She howled with laughter. She laughed and laughed until tears leaked out the corners of her eyes. Sirius just blushed in indignation.

After she finished wiping the tears from her eyes. Lily told him exactly what had happened. "You, James, Peter were playing some ridiculous game and you had drank way too much fire whiskey. When I got back from my evening prefect patrols, James asked if I could make you a potion to calm you down and help with your future hangover. I said that was fine and offered to take you up to my room to fix you up for the night. At first James insisted he do it, but I knew he wanted to stay and hang out in the common room."

"So that was the argument," Sirius mumbled to himself.

"Well I wouldn't call it an argument really," Lily said looking confused then continued on. "So anyway I took you up to my room and had you lie sown while I fixed the potion. After you drank it, you fell asleep immediately, and James and I couldn't get you out of my bed so we just let you stay there."

"Why didn't you just sleep with James then?"

"I did, but he woke up early to go for a flight around the pitch, and Peter was snoring so loud I couldn't get back to sleep, so I came back to my bed and just shoved you over."

"That all makes sense. Thanks, Lily. You have no idea how much better I feel. Oh and by the way that potion worked. I barely had a headache when I woke up."

"And you have no idea how much better that makes me feel. I thought I was losing my touch."

……….

Lily continued to laugh as she made her way to the library. After working on charms homework for an hour or so, she made her way back to the common room. On her way, she ran into James coming back form Quidditch practice. He looked so cute in his uniform. She ran up to him throwing her arms around his neck and kissed him. He returned the kiss eagerly then broke away to grin down at her. She giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I have something hilarious to tell you!" She teased him by running her fingers down his chest.

"Hmmm well are you going to tell me or just mess me around?" he asked while bending down to kiss her neck.

"Apparently I had sex with Sirius last night."

"What?!" James shouted jumping back.

"Oh calm down…"

Lily explained what had happened telling James what Sirius had thought.

"So he thought…?"

"Yes. He did."

James and Lily laughed clutching at each other for support.

"What a prat. No wonder he was acting so strange." James mused when he finally caught his breath.

"It does explain all that," agreed Lily. "Now why don't you go get changed for dinner."

"See you in a bit, love."

………

James traveled up the stair case of Gryffindor tower and into his dorm. The room's only occupant was Remus who had apparently just climbed out of bed.

"You doing ok, Moony?" James asked.

"Much better now. Umm… have you ..er… talked to Sirius today?"

James laughed at Remus' fake casual tone. "Not you too! Do you think Lily cheated on me with Sirius? Some friends I have."

Remus's face fell. James just laughed again and told Remus the story.

"Good, good. I though it was just a misunderstanding," Remus said.

"So he told you? Was he planning on telling me?"

"He was. He was just trying to figure out how. He found me on my way back from the hospital wing. I told him to wait a while so he could calm down a bit."

James nodded then slowly turned to Remus with a glint in his hazel eyes.

"Hey, I have a great idea…"

"Famous last words when coming from James Potter."

……….

Sirius was practically skipping down the halls of Hogwarts. He was so happy. He Hadn't done something incredibly stupid. He hadn't lost his best friend. All in all things were looking up from the way Sirius had felt this morning. He ducked into a nearby bathroom. As soon as the door shut behind him, it slammed open again. It was James, and Sirius was about to greet him, but then he saw the rage in James's face.

"What the bloody Hell, Sirius?" James roared while pulling his wand on Sirius.

Sirius just stared.

"Lily's my girlfriend! You know I feel about her. How could you do that? I thought you were my best friend!"

"I am. That's was just a misunderstanding. You need to talk to Lily." Sirius tried to explain.

"I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses. I've already had it out with Lily. We are though."

Sirius's face paled. "What!? No! James, Prongs, it's just a misunderstanding. Believe me please! You and Lily are perfect together."

"Yeah, we were until you fucked it all up."

Suddenly Remus ran into the bathroom seemingly out of breath.

"James! Sirius! I'm sorry. I thought he needed to know. I thought it would be better if I explained things first. Softened the blow."

Sirius groaned. "Remus no! You told? You've got it all wrong. Both of you."

"Yeah, he told me because he's a real friend," James cut across Sirius.

Sirius was backed against the cold tile wall of the bathroom. He didn't know what to do. After talking to Lily he thought everything was ok. Sirius saw James catch Remus's eyes and a ruin slowly spread across his face. The next thing Sirius knew both James and Remus were practically rolling on the floor laughing.

"Wha- what?" Sirius sputtered watching to two boys dumbfounded.

"You should have seen your face! Oh God!" laughed James.

"Merlin.." gasped Remus. "That was good."

Sirius continued to stare.

When he finally composed himself, James spoke, "I already talked to Lily. I know it was just you jumping into conclusions. It's all good, mate."

"Then what was this for? You scared the shit out of me."

" Oh this? It was just for you being a prat." James smiled and clapped Sirius on the back.

The bathroom door opened again and Peter wandered in.

"Hey guys! I've been in the library all day. I may actually pass charms now. So what did I miss?" asked Peter looking at his three friends.

James, Sirius, and Remus just laughed some more.

Added Author's Note: Ok guys, I've had 71 hits/visitors and no reviews. Is it that bad? I told you it was my first humor fic. You were warned. If you liked it, tell me what you liked. If you hated it, tell me why so I can hopefuly improve in my future stories. Thanks. Also If you liked it or would prefer something more serious, check out my stories Love Me Dead and tap. tap. tap. Both are also marauder era fics.


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